New Beginnings

February 9, 2007

Well I managed to get to my local church this morning for ‘stitch and chat. It is a place where people come to do all sorts of crafts. I nearly turned back but with good resolve I kept going. But unfortunately within an hour I felt my exhaustion coming back, nausea and hot sweats. I offered my excuses. My plans to visit a friend afterwards I had to put aside and go straight home.Where I live there are lots of hills and it was agony getting home. I prayed for the Lord to ‘just get me home please’. I put my daughter off coming round but as I gained strength some three hours later I invited her to come round. Helen is no trouble.Dog walking time came round and again ‘Lord please help me’ I decided on a quick walk with Cindy. My speed has reduced dramatically and as I thought about my tiredness or rather exhaustion I concluded that this is now happening 90% of the time. I smiled as I thought that 10% is God’s remnant. My weakness I realised is allowing God to show me His strength! I have never felt this close to the Lord before because I took pride in my own physical strength and ability to get around.My walk with Cindy concluded for over an hour. I was like a snail and my back pains were constant. But I praise God because I have a love of photography and God’s creation and I spotted a group of small daffodils coming through and took a picture of them. The scenery was spectacular and I was able to take a few photographs. So the pace I was going was quite lovely. I stopped quite regularly and I think my dog Cindy appreciated this so she could sniff around a lot more.I have always seen getting through tasks as a competitive exercise. The more to accomplish the better, the more stars I could get. But with my family it didn’t matter if I did anything good they would never have recognised it. For years I know I have been striving, striving, and striving all the more. I became a martyer and my puffed up pride of juggling 10 things at once made me feel I could accomplish anything.God had other ideas. It’s funny I was reminded about the children’s story of the Tortoise and the Hare. I used to be the Hare but I am decididly the Tortoise now. I commented this thought to my hubby and he smiled knowingly and said ‘but the tortoise came first’. This reminded me of the scripture:2 Timothy Chapter 4 v 7-8‘I have done my best in the race, I have run the full distance, and I have kept the faith and now there is waiting for me the victory prize of being put right with God, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on that Day – and not only to me, but to all those who want wait with love for him to appear’.  Walking the last hill to my flat, still in pain but knowing yet again the Lord had got me home left me complete and confident that the Lord had got me through yet another hurdle. My daughter waiting for me at home yet another warm welcome, her company always a pleasure.I sat down and looked through some of the photographs I had taken and told Helen about the daffodils coming through. Contemplating painting flowers again I had come full circle to where the Lord wanted me; at peace with Him and His creation so very much a part of His Glory.God Bless Jacqui xx